You’re your own worst critic. But you can also be your best cheerleader. Understanding the power of your own inner voice can make or break how you perceive life before you.
In my youth, I was a consistent pessimist. Though sparked by external experiences, I didn’t know how to speak kindly to myself. I would always make myself the butt of self-deprecating jokes and I spewed negative self talk as often as I took a breath. I may have brushed off every joke with a “just kidding,” but when the chuckles settled, two truths remained: 1. Those weren’t just jokes, and they truly illustrated how I felt about myself, and 2. My negative inner voice had a lot to do with my deteriorating self image.
We were taught that words have power. There are countless sayings that emphasize being kind to others. “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” “Think before you speak.” “If you don’t have anything nice to stay, don’t say anything at all.” These quotes were drilled into our minds, and many of them shaped how we view the world and others. But we weren’t taught to use these same principles on ourselves.
A major step in my confidence journey was becoming more mindful of the importance of inner narrative. My words have power, and if I can speak well of others and brighten up their days, it’s imperative that I speak well of myself too. Here are 15 affirmations I use that greatly contributed to me becoming the confident woman I am today.
1. I’m not okay, and that’s okay.
It is important to acknowledge the downs as often as we do the ups. Personally, when I’m in a depressive mood, I try to sweep it under the rug by finding ways to distract myself from the troubles presenting themselves. But, there’s power in vulnerability. If you can’t admit it to someone else, at least start by admitting to yourself when you’re not feeling your best. It alleviates the weight and pressure of sadness, and helps to clear the fog a bit so you can see the light coming your way.
2. Today, I will live my purpose.
Finding and actively participating in things you’re passionate about is a key part of growth. It gives you a sense of belonging, and with that confidence, you hold yourself to a higher regard. For me, I discovered my deeply rooted love for the performing arts, and from there I was able to explore the wonders of my personality, and I recognized how amazing I was because of what I can do.
3. I am the best me there is, and no one can take my place.
Individuality is the G.O.A.T. Yes, subconsciously we feel the need to conform, what with all the subliminal messages surrounding us everyday. But uniqueness makes the world go ’round. There is absolutely NO ONE like you in this world. You were created to be distinct in everything you do, and that is a gift no one else has. Stand firm in your specialness, and don’t let anyone try to take it away.
4. I am worthy of every good thing that comes to me.
If you’re a victim of traumatic events like me, you often feel that every great opportunity is going to be followed by something bad, as if there’s always a punishment for your happiness. I’m here to tell you that it’s not. You deserves to enjoy life and receive good things. Good news? You’re worthy of it. New work opportunity? You’re worthy of it. A new romantic interest? You deserve it. When you speak well of your future, you open yourself up to manifest great things.
5. I am amazing, blessed, and destined for great things.
You already possess all the characteristics to do good in the world. Of course, there’s always room for improvement, but who you are now is still highly capable. Rejoice in the qualities you already have and don’t put too much emphasis on what you lack.
6. I am not my past. I am focused on my present and my future.
Often times we hold on to our past mistakes, spending so much energy wishing we’d done differently. Experiences we’ve endured that may have broken us can stick to us and weigh us down. You are not defined by the history of your life, but rather how you choose to move forward from it.
7. Forgive those who’ve done me wrong, because holding on to the hurt is only hurting me.
I struggle with this one the most. I’ve been in a lot of unfortunate situations where I gave people the benefit of the doubt only for them hurt me in return. I struggle to forgive because I don’t feel it fair for those people to continue on with their lives after being cruel towards me. I was so focused on making sure they get consequences that I didn’t realize that I was creating some negative repercussions for myself. And now, I see how holding onto that vengefulness can slow up my process.
8. I must let go of the things I cannot control.
Calling all control freaks, this one’s for you. Imagine the world if we had control over everything that happened to us. Scary, right? The universe has way too many moving parts, and it would drive us insane if we attempted to head every one of them. Life has a natural ebb and flow that we can’t do anything about, so we might as well relax in those moments and let the journey take itself.
9. It’s not too late. My future starts right now.
Humans are obsessed with time. We plan everything. Though in some cases it’s effective, it can also cloud our judgement of the perfect moment. I’m a victim of feeling like my moment has passed me by. I didn’t imagine my future would look like where I am right now. I thought I would’ve achieved so much by now, but life showed up and threw my plan WAY off course. Yet, here I am today; I’m still on a path, just a different one. My future is still ahead of me, and what’s meant to happen will come to fruition.
10. I will make room for growth and healing.
Holding onto your old ways is like keeping a hoarded junky room in a mansion: so much unnecessary stuff cluttering up a space that’s meant for the finer things. Get rid of all the junky old cans of tuna and 30 year old magazines that are bad habits and negative character traits and free up space for the curated paintings and Mahogany wood furniture that is progression.
11. I am enough, just the way I am.
This is big. In our society, women especially are socialized to always strive to look better. There’s an entire billion dollar industry built on tearing women down to get them to consume more. But, the way you are is sufficient enough. The things society says about people like you does not speak to your worth in real life.
12. My body is beautiful, strong, and capable, in every condition.
There’s a common misconception that self-esteem and confidence only belongs to one body type, and you’re not allowed to love yourself in any other condition. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Think of your body as a china cabinet, and your mind and soul are the priceless crystal heirlooms and delicate porcelain dishware inside of it. We gotta give more recognition to the cabinet, because it does the best job possible to protect the contents inside. Your body should be seen the same way. It houses the most important parts of you, and carries you throughout the day without even second guessing. So, give your vessel that acknowledgement.
13. I breathe love, light, and happiness into those broken places.
In many cases, we fill those spaces left by hurtful experiences with resentment, and we have nowhere to go from that place of stagnation. But deep cleansing breaths and a moment of stillness can be therapeutic at the right moments. Don’t continue to attempt to heal pain with more pain and apathy. Take a deep sigh and clear your soul of what’s keeping it wrapped up.
14. I will not fight the change that is coming my way.
Change is scary. We tend to go after what’s familiar instead of uncharted territory. But that path welcomes complacency, and blocks the blessings and opportunities meant for us. On the other side of risk and fear are prizes beyond measure. Don’t stand in your own way and welcome what is different. Different can be good.
15. With hard work and positivity, I will reap the great rewards I deserve.
Everyone talks about “glowing up.” “I can’t wait to glow up, then y’all will really see what I’m on.” “Don’t just grow up. Glow up.” But I don’t think people realize the glow up doesn’t happen to you out of nowhere. It’s earned. If you want the glow up, you gotta work for it. By keeping a positive mindset, even on your darkest days, and continuing to be diligent in your craft, you have nowhere to go but up.
To affirm yourself is to state strongly and publicly that you are a masterpiece while being a work in progress. Your inner voice is always the loudest, so what better way to start the journey to confidence than from within. Once you make improvements on your inner beauty, your outer beauty will be sure to follow suit. Use these affirmations to create a strong foundation, on top which you build a great sturdy unwavering structure of self-esteem.